Fat Yo Mama Jokes

Yo momma's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama so fat her belt size is hula-hoop.

Yo Momma so fat she has her own area code.

Yo momma is so fat her blood type is ragù.

Yo mama so fat she got titties on her back.

Yo momma so fat, she broke the FAMILY tree!

Yo mama is so fat, she gets group insurance.

Yo mama's so fat, her car has stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat her favorite food is seconds.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo moma so fat she wears trashbags for socks.

Yo mamma's so fat, she IS the circle of life.

Yo mama is so fat that we're in her right now!

Yo momma's so fat that her Patronus is a cake.

Yo mama so fat, her shadow broke the pavement.

Yo momma's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.

Yo mama so fat she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

Yo mamma's so fat, I don't have to make a joke.

Yo momma so fat, her bellybutton's got an echo.

Yo momma's so fat, she wears a VCR as a beeper.

Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.

Yo mama is so fat, her belly button got an echo.

Yo momma so fat she fell out of the family tree.

Yo momma's so fat, her belt size is « Equator ».

Yo mama is so fat, not even Dora can explore her.

Yo mama is so fat that she eats « Wheat Thicks ».

Yo momma so fat her belt loops have mile markers.

Yo momma so fat not even Naruto could believe it.

Yo momma's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.

Yo mama is so fat that she's got her own area code!

Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma's so fat Jesus can't even lift her spirit.

Yo momma so fat she uses Mexico as her tanning bed.

Your mama so fat people jog round her for excercise

Yo mama is so fat that she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma's so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.

Your mamma so fat she uses a mattress as a maxi pad.

Yo mamma is so fat, black holes get sucked into her.

Yo momma's so fat, her butt has its own congressman.

Yo mama is so fat that black holes try to escape her.

Yo momma's so fat she can't even jump to conclusions.

Yo momma so fat she plays billiards with the planets.

Yo mamas so fat she used two buses for roller skates.

Yo mama so fat, when she sweats she causes a tsunami.

Yo momma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo momma so fat, her shadow puts dents in the ground.

Yo momma so fat she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Your mama is so fat that her BMI is measured in acres.

Yo momma is so fat she has her own gravitational pull.

Yo mama's so fat, her soup bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama so fat, she puts her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama so fat, half of her is in a parallel universe.

Your mamma's so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma's so fat, the whale from Free Willy freed her!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Your mama so fat when she did a push up Earth went down.

Yo momma so fat, she uses the Kool-Aid man for a teacup.

Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers won’t look at her.

Yo momma so fat, Miley Cyrus uses her as a wrecking ball!

Yo mama is so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

Yo Momma so fat she uses the 101 fwy for a slip 'n' slide!

Yo mamma's so fat she turned an airplane into a submarine.

Yo momma's so fat she needs a helicopter to take a selfie.

Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.

Yo mamma is so fat, people exercise by jogging around her.

Yo momma so fat, she broke a world record by falling on it

Yo mama is so fat that she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama is so fat that even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma is so fat Miley Cyrus uses her as a wreaking ball.

Yo momma's so fat, I tried to walk around her and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a diet and caused a recession.

Yo mam's so fat, she has to iron her shirts in the driveway.

Yo mama is so fat, her job title is Spoon and Fork Operator.

Yo mama is so fat that her neck looks like a dozen hot dogs!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets.

Yo mama is so fat that the stripes on her pajamas never end.

Yo momma is so fat she makes free willy look like a tic-tac!

Yo momma's so fat, when I got on top of her, my ears popped.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama is so fat that she fell and created the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed.

Yo momma's so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite.

Yo momma is so fat, she puts lipstick on with a paint roller.

Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't get dreams, she gets movies!

Yp mama so fat, she caused millions of dollar property damage.

Yo mamma so fat, when she jumped up, she got stuck in the air!

Your momma is so fat, when she farts even Krakatoa is jealous.

Yo mama so fat I tried driving around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mamma so fat when she died she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo momma is so fat she tripped over Tokyo and landed in Hawaii.

Yo Mamma so fat she had to have a real horse on her polo shirt.

Yo mamma's so fat her baby picture was taken by Neil Armstrong.

Yo mama has so many rolls of fat she has to screw on her pants.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

Yo momma's so fat, she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yo momma's so fat, she needs one bar stool for each butt cheek.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sits down, she's three feet taller.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo mama is so fat that when you get on top of her your ears pop.

Yo momma is so fat she sat on the rainbow and Skittles came out.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on an iPad she made a plasma TV.

Yo mama so fat she got a job at the movie theater as the screen!

Yo mama is so fat that I had to take her photo in panorama mode.

Yo mama so fat that Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.

Yo momma's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!

Yo mama is so fat, she's the reason the Earth tilts on its axis.

Yo momma's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial photograph.

Yo mama is so fat that even Chuck Norris couldn't run around her.

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is 'equator.'

Yo momma is just like Jupiter: huge, round, and gassy.

Your mum is like the sun: big, round, and hard to look at.

Yo mama so big she got hit by a bus and said « Hey, who threw a rock at me »?

Yo momma's so big, that when she stops walking, she has to put her hazard lights on.

Yo momma is so fat it took Nationwide 2 years to get on her side.

Yo mama so fat when she goes into an elevator she has to go down.

Yo momma's so fat, she only knows 3 letters of the alphabet: KFC.

Yo mama's so fat when I pictured her in my head she broke my neck.

Yo momma so fat she wore a sign that said « CAUTION: Wide Turns »!

Yo momma so fat Earth is tilted because she fell out of her chair.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an oak tree she made a bonsai.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

Yo mamma is so fat that when she went to the Gap, she filled it in.

Yo momma so fat that when she farted, the second Big Bang occurred.

Yo momma's thighs are so fat you can smack them and ride the waves.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Yo momma is so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everybody.

Yo mama so fat when she sat on four quarters she made a dollar bill.

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on a dollar 4 quarters popped out.

Yo momma's so fat, when she farted, she launched herself into orbit.

Yo momma so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already worldwide.

Yo momma's so fat, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!

Yo mamma is so fat, Bill Gates became broke after buying her dinner.

Yo momma's so fat, she has to do a Slip 'N Slide on the 405 freeway.

Yo momma is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale.

Yo momma's so fat she passed the window and we lost light for 4 days.

Your momma is so fat NASA used her to fill a hole in the ozone layer.

Yo mama so fat the National Hurricane Center named each of her farts.

Yo mama so fat whet she took her first step the grand canyon was made

Yo Momma's so fat that when she went up to space, there was no space!

Yo momma is so fat that when she sat on WalMart the prices got lower.

Yo momma's so fat, when she tripped in Ohio, Tokyo had an aftershock.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to Sizzler she got a group discount.

Yo momma's so fat, she went bungee jumping and went straight to Hell.

Yo momma's so fat, the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed at the same time.

Yo mama is so fat, she left in high heels and came back in flip flops.

Yo mama is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet - she's worldwide.

Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Your mama so fat when she fell out of the bed she fell off both sides.

Yo mama so fat the only thing keeping her from McDonald's is the door.

Yo mamma so fat, when she was swimming she was mistaken for an island!

Yo momma's so fat, every time she turns around it's her next birthday.

Yo momma is so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Yo mama is so fat, she has two watches one for each time zone she's in.

Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama's so fat that when she walks, she changes the earth's rotation!

Yo mamma is so fat she walked pass the T.V. and I missed three episodes

Yo momma is so fat when you tell her to haul ass she takes three trips.

Yo mamma is so fat that when she went in the ocean, the ocean came out!

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: 'To be continued.'

Yo mama is so fat that whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama is so fat that the camera TAKES AWAY 10 lbs from her appearance.

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.

Yo momma so fat when she turned around we gave her a Welcome Back Party.

Yo mama so fat that her yearbook picture was on page 20, 21, 22, and 23.

Yo mama so fat that when she plays volleyball she plays the whole court.

Yo mama so fat I took 2 train rides and one bus to get to her good side.

Yo mamma so fat, when she plays paintball her teammates hide behind her.

Yo mama is so fat that Dracula got Type 2 Diabetes after biting her neck.

Yo mama is so fat that when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama is so fat that she's got every caterer in the city on speed dial!

Yo momma so fat that the back of her neck looked like a pack of hot dogs.

Yo momma's so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on the back of the bus it did a wheelie.

Yo momma's so fat, that when she rubs her thighs together, I smell bacon.

Yo momma's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm. One for each time zone.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to put them in her pockets.

Yo momma'so fat, if she was a witch, her broomstick would be a broomtree!

Yo mama is so fat that everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat when she trips in California, she lands in The Philippines

Yo momma so fat when she went whale watching the people were watching her.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge, too.

Yo momma's so fat, she has her own zip code 900daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

Yo momma's so fat, when she walks backwards you hear « Beep! Beep! Beep »!

Yo mama is so fat that she has been declared a natural habitat for condors.

Yo mama is so fat that her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama is so fat that when she lies on the beach no one else gets any sun!

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo momma so fat when she got her period people thought there was a volcano.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes on a scale, it reads 'lose some weight'.

Your mum is so fat when she went on the scale it said « To be continued.. ».

Yo momma's so fat, when she uses the keyboard she presses every key at once!

Yo momma's so fat, they sent her into space and she clogged up a black hole!

Yo momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Yo mama is so fat, Al Gore accuses her of global warning everytime she farts!

Your momma so fat when she turned on her PS4 the PlayStation Network crashed.

Yo momma's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas.

Yo momma so fat, that when she went skydiving, people thought it was a meteor

Your mom is so fat, she made an email account just so she could eat the spam.

Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone.

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says « to be continued ».

Yo mama is so fat that that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes on a scale, it shows her own phone number.

Yo mama is so fat when she wants her photo taken she has to call Google Earth.

Yo momma is so fat that when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time.

Yo momma so fat when she auditioned for Star Wars she was cast as outer space.

Yo mama so fat that when she went swimming explorers claimed her for new land.

Yo mama so fat that I would insult her, but cows are sacred where I come from.

Yo mama's so fat Honey Boo Boo's mom tried to give her a massage and got lost!

Yo mama is so fat that she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo momma is so fat if she does jumping jacks in high heels she will strike oil!

Yo mamma is so fat when she went to In-N-Out Burger, she couldn't go in or out.

Yo mamma is so fat she wore a yellow shirt and the Sun said I am out of the job

Yo momma's so fat, her measurements are 36-24-26, and that's just her left arm.

Yo Mama is so fat, when she pressed the UP button on the elevator it went DOWN.

Yo momma's so fat, when we asked her what her hometown is, she said « Buffet ».

Yo momma's so fat, your dad had to roll over twice before he could get off her.

Yo mama is so fat that they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo mama is so fat that she uses the entire country of Mexico as her tanning bed.

Yo Momma's so fat when I told her to touch her toes she said « What are those »?

Yo momma's so fat she puts a cup of water in the bathtub and it still overflows!

Yo momma so fat her belly button made it to her house 15 minutes before she did.

Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an « A » in lunch.

Yo momma is so fat, Stephen Hawkings black hole theory was based on her asshole.

Yo mamma so fat, she wears two watches to keep track of the time zones she's in.

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a Nintendo GameCube and it turned into a Game Boy.

Yo momma is so fat when she stepped on the scale it read « Get the hell off me »!

Yo mama is so fat on Halloween she threw on a white sheet and went as Antarctica.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang « We are family »!

Yo mama is so fat that that her senior pictures had to be taken from a helicopter!

Yo momma so fat when she steps out in a yellow raincoat, the people yell « TAXI »!

Yo mamma is so fat she doesn't need the internet, because she's already world wide.

Yo momma so fat she added a profile picture to her Facebook and it's still loading.

Your momma is so fat that your dad has to climb 15 minutes just to give her a kiss.

Yo momma is so so fat that when she sat on a monster truck she made it a low-rider.

Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted « pigs in a blanket », she got back in bed.

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to the movie theater she sat next to everybody.

Yo momma is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress the sun went out of business.

Yo mamma is so fat when she gets her shoes shined she has to take their word for it.

Your mamma is so fat when she was an astronaut, scientists thought she was a planet.

Yo mamma is so fat when she stepped on the scale it said her Social Security number.

Yo momma is so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door

Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says « Please step out of the car ».

Yo momma is so fat, the only thing stopping her from getting a big mac was the door.

Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek, I spotted her behind the Himalayas.

Yo momma's so fat, when she runs, she makes the CD player skip at the radio station.

Your momma so fat when she stepped on a quarter she picked up two dimes and a nickel.

Yo mamma is so fat when she has to make a long distance call just to talk to herself.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the zoo, elephants began throwing peanuts at her.

Yo momma is so fat you need to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.

Yo mom is so fat when she walked in front of the window, we lost sun light for 7 days.

Yo mama's so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said « One person at a time please ».

Yo momma's so fat, she played the role of the boulder in the first Indiana Jones movie.

Yo mama so fat, that when she wanted a water bed, she just put a blanket over the ocean.

Yo mama is so fat that when she asked for a waterbed, they put a blanket over the ocean!

Yo mama so fat that when aliens came to invade us they said « Wow! Two planets in one ».

Yo momma's so fat, she wore a red sweater and everyone thought she was the Kool-Aid man.

Yo momma's so fat, when she died in Call of Duty, the other player got a 10 kill streak!

Yo momma's so fat, her stomach got a cell phone to call her mouth when it's time to eat.

Yo mama is so fat that when she wants to shake someones hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama is so fat that she went to the fair and the kids thought she was a bouncy castle.

Yo mama is so fat when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.

Yo momma so fat when she stepped on a weighing scales it said ONE PERSON AT A TIME PLEASE

Yo momma's so fat, she tripped over Wal-Mart, stumbled over K-Mart, and landed on Target.

Yo momma's so fat, she put on a Malcolm X T-shirt, and a helicopter tried to land on her.

Yo momma's so fat, she went to Jenny Craig and they said « Sorry, we don't do miracles ».

Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the television, I missed three commercials.

Your momma's so fat, when she takes a selfie she's gotta put her camera on panoramic mode!

Yo mama's so fat, that when she goes to the beach the whales start singing 'we are family.'

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on a quarter a booger came out of George Washington's nose.

Yo momma's so fat, when she was floating in the ocean, Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo mama is so fat that I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to seaworld the whales started singing 'We Are Family'.

Yo mama so fat when she goes up to a buffet she doesn't bring a plate, she brings her chair.

Yo mama is so fat that when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy’s word for it.

Your mom is so fat she went to a party in a metallic dress and people thought she was a keg.

Yo momma's so fat, when she ordered a water bed, they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a car and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a resturant, she looks at the menu and says « okay »!

Yo momma's so fat, when she put on high-heels and walked out onto the street, she struck oil!

Yo mama so fat, people keep pushing her in the water when she's at the beach so she won't die.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went skydiving over Iraq, everyone thought America dropped a nuke.

Yo momma so fat she was on her way to McDonalds tripped over Burger King and landed on Wendy's.

Yo momma's so fat, she wore a black bathing suit to the pool and everyone yelled « oil spill »!

Yo momma is so fat she went to church with heels on and when she came back home they were flats.

Yo momma's so fat, it took me two planes, a train, and a bike ride just to get on her good side.

Yo mama is so fat that when we were playing Call of Duty, I got a 20 kill streak for killing her.

Yo mama is so fat that her sedan can fit 5 people... or just yo mama with the front seats removed.

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said « I need your weight not your phone number ».

Yo momma's so fat and old, when Moses wanted to part the Red Sea, he told her to do a cannon ball.

Yo mama is so fat and dumb she signed up for an email account because she heard it contained spam.

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat that she stepped on a scale and two white flags popped out that said « I surrender »!

Yo mama is so fat when she took her dress to the dry cleaners they said, « Sorry, we don’t do curtains ».

Yo mama so fat that when she wears a yellow dress while bungee jumping people think the sun is falling.

Yo mamma is so fat that when she showed up to watch a sumo wrestling tournament, they gave her the trophy.

Yo momma is so fat that when she applied to be a bus driver she found out she was qualified to be the bus.

Yo Momma is so fat, when she switches her cell phone from one ear to the other she get billed for roaming.

Yo momma's so fat, that when she goes out to a restaurant, she looks at the menu and says « sounds good ».

Yo mama so fat she sat at the edge of the ocean and the lifeguard said « Ma'am, you're blocking the tide ».

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said « Let there be light », he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo mama so fat she went for a swim under water she opened her mouth and swallowed the whole ocean.IN ONE GULP

Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to church and sat on a bible, Jesus came out and said « LET MY PEOPLE GO »!

Yo mama so fat the only reason she took algebra in high school was because she heard there was gonna be some pi.

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a Mars bar on the other side just to get her through.

Yo mama is so fat that her butt drags on the ground and kids yell - « there goes santa claus with his bag of toys »!

Yo mama is so fat, that we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay for her because we dressed her up as a Toyota.

Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling « TWINKIE »!

Yo mama's so fat that to get her through a doorway you have to grease the doorframe and hold a Twinkie on the other side.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a rapid flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her twenty years to live.

Yo mamma so fat when she went to get her picture taken the photographer told her to say « Cheese » and she said « Where »?

Yo momma's so fat, the only way to get her out of a telephone booth is to grease her thighs and throw a Twinkie in the street.

Yo mama is so fat that she was cut from the cast of E.T., because she caused an eclipse when she rode the bike across the moon.

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang « We are family, even though you're fatter than me ».

Yo momma's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo momma so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her!

Yo mama so fat, she has her own ZIP code.

Yo mama is so fat that when she volunteered to clean the cages at the zoo, people would walk by and say « Look at that hippopotamus! ».

Yo mama so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.

Yo momma's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo momma's so fat, when she jumped for joy she got stuck!

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on a rainbow Skittles popped out.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Yo mama so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.

Yo mama's so fat, when she talks to herself it's a long-distance call.

Yo mama so fat, it took me two buses and a train just to get on her good side.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo mama so fat when stepped on a scale she said « How does it know my credit card number »?

Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked « What size bucket »? and yo momma said « The one on the roof ».

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says 'Wide Load.'

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the gym, they charge her for two memberships.

Yo mama's so fat, GPS reroutes around her.

Yo mama is so fat, the simulation needs a software update just to render her completely.

Google Maps had to upgrade to 64-bit integers just to calculate your mother's latitude and longitude at the same time.

Yo mama so fat, when she steps on a scale, the screen says 'To Be Continued...'